Sound idea

Hi.. I will begin to extract some sounds from old B-movies but we will need someone to read a cheesy text in a cheesy way for introduction or transition between pages.
Laura, please, could you write a little text to describe the context of our B-movie in the same style than... for example.. The 50ft Woman video. I think you would be good for this work !
It is just an idea... but a serious one ;)